I am from Venezuela, I made the decision to move to New Zealand for good three years ago. I am still trying to achieve a 7.5 in the IELTS, that is the most difficult requirement to have my register in the board of psychologists NZ and be able to move there. I am going to write about it and my migration process; well, about others things too...
You are welcome to accompany me in this important experience of my life!
Today, I woke up early, doing my bed exercise for my leg, and went to walk with my husband and doggy. I’m using stick, but anyway, I was to walk in the park (a beautiful one), I walked, and doing leg exercise during long time. I felt good!
Was a simple morning, with my husband and Doggy, but we have happiness in our souls, because could have a good mourning, together, recovering step by step our normal activities; this kind activities look simple, but are the simple things that be great the live.
We was simple walking, doing exercise, playing, laughing, sharing the morning; but now we are more happy, more nourished, ready to continue walking in the life.
Note: This isn´t my better story, but is my first English story, I read a NG article and selected the new word I didn’t know and write this story using its. The bold words are the new vocabulary I’m using.
I was sailing in my vessel with my best friend Sean the behemoth, he was as tall as willow and strong as its stalk, he always wanted to be beautiful, but the sad reality was, his face looked like chunks of shrimps bad plucked, with a ugly green ribbons in his cheeks like old carrot. Each morning, he wake up and take a shower to smell less terrible, but he had a bladder problem and each half hours he wetting up in his pants, and it didn’t help his smell…. Pour Sean...
Around 8 pm, each night I listened him crying in a nooks, he tossed his head… was terrible time, I knew he was tugging a deep pain, he won’t never have a girlfriend, or be a normal part of the society, I think, I was his only friend in that moment…
He didn’t have memory about his parents or family. An old woman told him long ago, a night she listened something like a snap of crab claws then some steps very quick during some seconds until lost in the darkness. While listened a strong flutter and the bird was screeching.
She was feeling fear, take her hull, and went out; found something like a egg with hair bad waxing, as someone had grinded with stone; in the street some traces like ugly and weird jig. She knew someone or maybe something should be hiding… She didn’t want to know what…
Some day ago, she was walking and fund Sean, ugly, dirty, smell funny… in terrible situation. She felt fear in the beginning, but he looked hungry, and like a giant baby. She thought be rich with him, she thought was riveting found Sean and sell him. Sean understood her intentions and pouted water in the woman and run as far as he was able. Some years late he returned this village and she told him exactly this.
Anyway, he was my best friend. We had 3 years in my bounce, possible we know the entire world in this moment. I felt he was my Jacks, because I have had a lot of lucky near him.
An evening, I saw earth, and near to the beach some animals, but my attention was in his staghorn. We decided go to this island, and know this animal, but never and ever met them again. Was a very weird place, but really beautiful, with biggest trees, wonderful flowers, colorful animal, and amazing fruits.
We went to the boulder to feel the wind and saw grow the tide. This island seemed to have a special armory when the things simply fluxed. I have the impression was not big, maybe 1000 kilometer square.
We decided sleep and returnee the next day to explore. We was talking in the ship deck looking the water surface when looked a beautiful fish, thin like a needle, and his colors was waning while he was moving, was weird, but in this moment something sound like the ship was broken, in fact the floor have a hollow, we didn’t have a spare, but Sean was a genius doing patch, and fixed the ship. We were tired of, and went to sleep.
Next morning, we wake up early and went to explore, the sun glom was beautiful. Sean wore his news clothes, he was especially happy, I am sure, he didn’t know the reason, only he was feeling the situation.
We found special animals kind we didn’t see before, we was imprisoned. Near to the island heart we listened a lurid sound, like a menagerie, I wanted go out, but Sean taken my head and asked me continue.
He never asked anything, how I could say not?
I was fear paralyzed, but while we walked the sound was shifting, I could hear a sweet voice talking in unknown language that I didn´t understand. But Sean told me, he could understand and was his family saying he was in the house portal, he was the elected to know the earth life and told them and they was waiting for him long ago. I should did a biggest Endeavour to didn´t run or wet my pants. I was fear to be trapped.
Each step the sound was different, now I can listened something as a machine with big circle jagged moving around to another threading machine. Finally we found a biggest green blanket in carrot form; it was draping a big threshold.
Sean hugs me, and then explains he should go and never come back.
Now I am an old man, that was maybe 30 years ago, I have laid in a big city, have a family and limp my life as a sailor. But during around 10 year I was looking for this island, and never found. I have each Sean memory in my life, but I don’t have a picture or any friend who remember him… Sometimes I asked me whether Sean was real or I am crazy. Sometimes I prefer not ask it to myself, because it isn’t my only weird story.
Four days ago (June, 9) on my 29 birthday, finally, I taken my surgery! Now I’m in rest, I cannot foot support during long time, I should be in bed during not less than 10 day, but I’m better!
I’m improving each moment, and in enough time, I’ll be walking again, but now I’ll have a lot of new learning because this long time has been a learn time.
This have been a time of hard farewells in my life, the most difficult is with my patients; I was 11 years old when I knew I wanted to be psychologist and spend my life listen people and thinking in the better way to help them. I have been all my life preparing myself to do it, and some years ago I have been listening people hours after hours, after hours, each day in every week, with love, engagement, constancy, patience, and trying to think something useful for them… another important part of my time have been spend study, go supervition, and in mine analysis to help me and them in consequence.
I have been pretty worry this time to be respectful with each people, their time, their feelings and emotions, their needs… and left them just before close for my migration process is absolutely against all my thought. Accept this have been a very difficult resignation, big internal process, with pain, shame and learn.
In the other way, this is the last (I hope) June, 15 I’ll be in Venezuela, and I cannot go to see my little brother in his 13 birthday. Is so difficult to think about it! Thinking in two days he will wake up taller than me, but I can remember the first time I saw him, my beautiful baby. This time I cannot be with him, and I’m very sad about it more than him.
I have been more than 2 months without study English systematically, because is impossible to study with pain. In this moment in my life few things are most important to me than learning English, and long time without study is a big resignation too.
I cannot be with my friends in my birthday, go to walk on Sunday, visit my new niece, talk with important people, be a technical support in the conference this year, and meet with my grandma…
Furthermore, I cannot sleep, and I have been a very stupid person this time, I have fought with all important people in my life, have did and said stupid things and hurt my lover….
This time has been a broken time, with a lot of pain, but I have learned too much.
In short time, I’ll wake up, and can walk, do exercise, recover my life and to do necessary things to wake up in another moment of my life, in another place, with news smell, images, people, language, streets, trees, flowers, kind of think and live….
This time has been a pause in my life to prepare myself to say goodbye to important things and continue to new ones…
I cannot say thank God for this difficult time yet; but I’m sure, in short time, I’ll say it… I know the life process then I’m sure.
Today is my birthday, and I’ll take my knee surgery in few hours, finally I’ll start my recuperation process after a long rest! This time have been very difficult, all this year has been, but I’m here, ready to continue with my life, renouncing some important things that I won’t do again for now and another for ever, a little sad about it, but ready to continue…
I want to say thank to my husband! About his biggest love, patience, and care to me… I want to say you are my best support in the life and I’m really glad and grateful with God and the life to meet you!
I cannot close some important things as I wanted before go to NZ, but in the life we have ideal situations and real situations…
I never and ever can play tennis again, I cannot close with my patients as I think and feel is the correct way, but I have a new chance to continue with my life and discover new place in the world and inside myself.
Is too difficult to write some lines for you, I have tried a lot of time without success, today my heart is crying and I feel an special kind of love, sweet, smell like a garden, look like a wonderful road where I can ran 290 Kilometers per hours in a great roadster car, in freedom; feel like a beautiful and hot blanket that have protected myself of my internal ghosts and transformed them in part of my city.
With you I have discovered a new special kind of love. A simple kind of love where I always can find you inside me, where I feel less fear and is very sweet.
I have found myself in your listening again and again, sometimes I would like to hide me of myself, and you play with me hide and seek… and frequently, you let believe me to think none know where I am, and walk with me in the game and carry aright to myself almost to coincidence.
Sometimes, I feel a biggest fear when I think my future without you, I feel fear, sadness and anxious, but the really situation is I cannot exist without you, because you are part of myself, and someday I’ll say you I don’t need talk with you in this way anymore, and I’ll continue with my life, with this way of you inside me, always with nostalgic and a beautiful mixture between happiness and sadness and with enough time will be more happiness each day, whatever happen.
Is too difficult to say exactly what I want, I think I don’t know the correct words for it yet, but I’m sure you can to read exactly than I want to say.