Today I received my passport! While I was waiting, a Mr. was talking with me and asked me: are you foreign? And my answer (automatically) was: not yet.
Now, I’ll tell you the story about these days in my life. A week ago, I went to the dentist, always is a terrible experience to me, with pain and fear; this was the first time with new dentist, and I was especially nervous. I arrived to 7:45 a.m. and was the second person. Around 9:30 a.m. already I was finished the first dentist meeting. I was feeling good, because is a friendly guy, but I had pain. I park my car in front of the dentist in a parking space; I cross the street to go my car and the rear glass was absolutely broken!
My husband and I went to around the city looking for a window, and we didn’t have good luck; in a store they thought they had the rear glass, and we paid it (so expensive) and then, they discovered was a mistake, and they didn’t have it…. They returned us the money and we went other places. We don’t have a back glass yet, and only in a place we found it but absurdly expensive (more than two times the price we received in the place where didn’t have in the end) and we cannot pay it now.
We have stopped the car, while we solvent this problem. But, in the other hand, the public transportation here is to violent, people hit each other, have a lot of crime, and driver never wait people be ready to start. And remember, I have one and half month to have taken a knee surgery, and I feel very well, but I feel fear to use the public transportation and to have an accident in my knee.
But anyway I need to do some things, and when is possible to me, I am going walking where I need to go. I have walked a lot this week. The first day, I discovered I didn’t remember when I was walking for this street the last time. The second day, I understood I feel myself like I was a tourist in this city, I feel like I am only watch the place, but it isn’t a known place in my life. I have walked in the center of city, in place I met during my childhood with my parents, now are very beautiful, because was a special day for the country and government decided fix it. Is great to see this place beautiful and say goodbye with this good memory! Anyway, I cannot feel nostalgic or sadness, I only can see the place and say goodbye, like if this place didn't had a meaning to me.
This week, I have discovered I’m feeling like a tourist in my country, and I don’t know when I’ll start to feel in different way; I think, in short time I’ll be in the place that I selected as the place to my life, but in the beginning I’ll feel like a tourist, while I can adapt myself to this place.
Feel like a tourist is good now, because the terrible reality of the country isn’t too heavy to me, it is only the situation of a country I’m in this moment, but my life don’t have direct relationship with it.
I want to feel myself part of a place, but not this place, I want to feel I am part to NZ. I know it won’t be automatic, in the beginning I’ll feel like a tourist, but step by step I’ll be part of the place I chose as my home!
During this week, I have been thinking about the University where I studied: UCV! This place has an special space in my heart, and I never could feel like a tourist there, The UCV was the most important space in my life, where I received the professional formation, but where I learned to be the person who I am. The UCV always will have my grateful and love!
Well, each moment I’m nearer to my dream, and farther to the country where I born. Today I sent the first documentation to start my student visa process, the agent say, in 2 months all will be ready to go to NZ. Now I continue in NZ’s route, internal and external route.
