closing 2011 in Venezuela

Hi, today is December 29, 2011. This year, Venezuela has broken the world rank of the violence murder in the world. Anyway, I am sure that in this weekend will be more murder that we could imagine!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-16349118

Today, Venezuela has an average of 53 violence murder per day. Here we are not in war... Well at less not in declared war.

On the other hand, in this country, most of 80% people live in absolute poverty, and in this social group, the average of first baby is when parent are around 11 to 13 years old, and around 17 a girl could have around 3 children.

For this reason, year after year could died 20000 people for the violence and anyway day after day exist more people and more poverty. Children don't have fathers because their fathers died around 16 to 19, those are the ages to majority of people murder. Anyway, still when their dads are alive, they are children too, and then nobody have parent in this society, well, in the majority of this society.

In this country exist around 27 million of people, so in this country is dying for the violence around 67 people for each 100000. I want to repeat: we are not in war... At less that said our government.

  

You could be asking to yourself which is moral of this story, I am asking it to myself too; but I think that I want to tell you about the objective I can found to this situation.

Let me show you, throughout history the dictators have had a guard force to control people, it help the government to keep people worried, afraid, sad and hopeless. In that case, people are feeling terrible and it is very hard to think and attack the government, so government can keep in the power long time.

Here, we are around 27 million of people, and exist around 20 million of illegal guns, frequently when the government is disagree with something, normal people (who like the government) attack it with peppers bombs, frequently you can see people in motorbikes with SMG, between a lot of other things like this. Then in this government they decided not have a guard force to oppress people, because it has been enough with gave illegal guns to delinquent and they oppress people without pay. In consequence, people is murdered each others, and the majority is feeling to bad to think in the way to finish this situation, so majority of people is trying to survey and it is very hard to think in this situation.

In this way, the moral of this story is, I want to share with you my vision of this situation. Government doesn’t want to control the delinquency because the Delinquency is the way to support the government.

Then in my opinion, it is a snake that is touching his tail. I don't have idea the way it could be improve, I just can imagine the way it could be worse.

Meanwhile I continue study English and visiting my friends and family before go to NZ or maybe before I will be part of our violence murder stats, whatever first happen.

Next blog’s Birthday

In few days this blog will be on birthday!

During this time, I have been studying English and practicing in all ways that I could, I have written about whatever I have been thinking; I could say if someone has read all my post, that people know me as a close friend.

On the other hand, it has been great to read my stats day after day and discover what kind of things are more interesting for people and where are from to people who reading me. I have discovered countries that I had not heard before to find it in my stats. Today, my blog has been visited for almost 5000 people for more of 100 countries.

In the beginning the only reason to have this blog was to practice my English, and still it is the main reason. But now, I enjoy a lot to think about who is reading me, and imagining a day when someone write me about whatever.

I love write, and when I finally know to speak and write in English, I would like to have a blog for write stories. I am absolutely happy for the way has had this blog; it has been motivating for me.

Thanks to accompanying me this time, and I hope you will be near to me still I arrive to NZ... Now I am in my NZ route.

See you later alligator 

Merry Christmas.

This year I don't care Christmas. I am not religious person, and this activity generally has not value for me, anyway, I tend to enjoy the moment to thankful the important things of the year. Frequently, it is a time to reflex about my goals and my behavior, and time to gather with important people in my life.

But this year, I am not happy now, I hoped to be living in NZ before Christmas and to have another lifestyle; then this year the Christmas remember me, I am still here, living in a uncomfortable place, being violence's victim, reading news about how the university is violated for government people, or about raining is destroying a lot of thing because government didn't take care about it.

I cannot go to study to the park because someone could steal me. I love my husband but we don't have a very good relationship because our lives are very complicate right now.

On the other hand, I understand it is part of my prices to go to my dream and my goal;  meanwhile I have had good moments, my English has improved a lot, my marriage relationship is stronger, I have grown up, and I can say thanks for all of this things and be happy about. But still, I don't want to celebrate this year. This year, I just want to study English as much as I can, and gather with some special people in my life; but not more, I am not feeling with a celebration mood and I would be dishonest with myself acting in different way.

Then I hope you have very good Christmas, you will be happy with your family and friends, but I will be here, studying English to can celebrate the next year living in a better place.

Merry Christmas.

Second married anniversary

Today is my second married anniversary, we met four years ago and we have three years living together.

It has been a good time, we have grown up together, with beautiful and very hard moments; anyway, we are together, it is possible to say we are happy; still we have not achieved all things that we have dreamed.

When I met him the first time, I didn't know how much he will be in my life. He has been the opportunity to learn to trust in someone and development patient when all is not good and it is his responsibility. He has been a wonderful love where I fell sure and good.

In the beginning our economic situation was better than now, and we had the opportunity to do some things that helped us to strengthen our relationship. Then we have had a lot of economics problems and as it was not enough we have had health problems... But still in the most difficult moments, we have found the way to continue and focus on our goal. Now our goal is the compass of our life, and we are walking together looking for it.

Grow up with someone is no easy, it is a very hard activity, but I think it is possible the most rewarding thing in the life, because the rest of our life depend of the way we take in this moment.

I see his eyes, and I know, still if I am not absolutely satisfaction with our actual situation, he is the man that I love and with I want to be the rest of my life, the man with I want to continue growing up and development my life.

Not all moments are good, and definitely the last time has not been a good moment, anyway, the real important thing is the way you take and the way you are able to grow up with it.

I love you my husband, and I know that we will have better moments and if we have been happy and in love in these hard moments, we will be better when we will finish this moment...

You are the reason and the transport of my effort! I have trust on you, and I know as much as you love me.

Thank God to give me the opportunity to find this man in my life, I am absolutely happy and grateful with you.

Definitely the last two years have not been easy moments, but anyway have been wonderful time.

In your eyes I find the strength, love, trust and security to continue watching their inside your arms.

Love you.

Balance of this year

Same as the past year, this has been very hard, with difficult situations and troubles. In my mind, I hoped the past year was the worst and this was better; I hoped to go to live to NZ during this year, assist to the RWC, find enough score in the IELTS, have my register in the Board of psychologist NZ, and improve my lifestyle.

But I was wrong, this year has been a very difficult time, with good moments and important development in my dream/goal, but I am still here.

During this time, my husband aunt dead, my left knee decided not work anymore, I have not had enough money, and I have been so alone.

Anyway, it is impossible to forget that my friends have help me, they have been my support in some moments; my married has pasted very hard troubles but now we are stronger  couple; I have improved a lot with the English; I have grown...

It has been a hard time, but still, has been a time to grown, development, charge...

I stopped to work, that was very difficult, because I love my job; but it was my first chance to trust in someone (in my husband) and have patience while he finds the ways to solvent some things. Don't work has been too the opportunity to focus on study English, and to go nearer to my dream/goal.

I hope the next year will be the beginning of better things and all these effort start to give me rewards. I hope during the next year I can go to live to NZ and start to work there. I hope as soon as be possible I have enough score in the IELTS and that be in short time.

On the other hand, I hope next year will be a good time for my brother and he can grow up with happiness and trust. I hope too that my husband continue his development way and start to find his rewards.

I am in the same physical place, but in absolutely different internal side.

Thinking profoundly about this year, my conclusion is that it has been a difficult year and a time during is difficult to watch the progress; but I know the internal process step by step will be reflected in the external situation, it is not the first time that I have time like this; anyway I always would like that I never ever to have another like this.

Well, I will continue growing and I am happy if you still want to accompany me in this process with a specifics dream/goal... I will continue in my NZ's route.

Another writing homework: I could not live without:

I could not live without my SmartPhone, because it is my way to connect me with the world. I have friends and family in other places and I can talk with them using it. On the other hand, it permits me to have Internet access each moment, read my emails, and why not? It is my chance to distract me when I am in a queueine or waiting (with music and games).

I could not live without my IPad or NetBook, because I really don't like desktop computers and it is very important to me use the digital media. With my iPad or my NetBook I can to read newspapers, books, study English, talk with my friends, listening to music, call my friend who live in other country, play games to distract myself, etc. Nevertheless I love my iPad because it was a present of my husband.

I could not live without my dog.... But she is not a technology thing... It was just a joke...

I could not live without Wi-Fi, because the others things need it a lot.

Writing homework (about technology)

INTRODUCTION

It is a writing homework for my English course, It is about a lecture where someone wrote about how technology are damaging our life; my homework was to imagine if the writer is a man or woman and whether youth or old. After that I should write what I think about.

I think this person is an old man, and he feels alone and with important difficulty to adapt to new lifestyle.

Respect to statement that the technology doesn't save your time, I am absolutely disagree, because in nowadays, all technological things are a very fast, easy and effective tool to connect with other people (for job and personal relationship), work, solvent problems, etc. In the same way, if people spend a lot of time using it, that is because they found important satisfaction and it could help to have better lifestyle for people who use it. I am not talking about people with addiction problem, I am just talking about people who like technology and want to use it. For example: all people need to eat to survey, anyway some people are food-addicted and they have very important health problems, but it would be stupid to blame the food for this and say something like: food is bad and is a humanity problem, with should forget the food because some people are obese.

On the other hand, in relation with the opinion that people don't need all those  things, I think if people would not need it, the technology enterprise would had death long ago. Today, technology enterprises are the biggest companies in the world, and that is because people like technology things and they feel, they need it.

In my opinion, the freedom is the possibilities to have a choice, when you have a lot of choice, you are able to select whatever you want, but if you have just an option you should be ok with this. For example, if you live in a democratic country, you have option to select the kind of government that you want to have, it is possible that in each election more than 5 candidates loss, but anyway they are important, because they are the chance of the people select the better option for then. In contrast, if you live in a country with a dictator, it is possible you are happy or not with him/her but you don't have a choice, you don't have freedom. I think it is same with each situation in the life, it is important that people have a choice and things that people don't like, will disappear step by step.

Talking about the short life on date of the technology things, it is right, but in my opinion it is not a problem, because it is the way that the world has, and step by step people will understand the life time of their thing and they could planning and save money in relationship with their technology needs.

The point that I am absolute agree with the author is about that anybody take responsibility about broken things, and people who work in call centers and computer help desks are not really engage with help people. Anyway, it is not technology fault; it is just a responsibility of these company’s managers who are not respectful with their clients.

In additional when I think about that technology is destroying the language, it is impossible for me not laugh about it, because it is not responsibility of your cell phone or computer to teach you the correct way to write, these kind of things should be taught in the school or for parents. When you know write correctly, it is possible you decide write different in technology messages, but technology can not have the responsibility to teach you to write. Nevertheless, with society development other things will change too, and it is easy to see in the past how the language has changed with the social changes. Then now it is possible you can to find two options, one, the language will be chance with technology development, or maybe people will development a new technology language, and they could use the traditional language talking face to face and another using technology things.

In the final analysis, I think that the social ways to communicate are changing with technology; I think people are not now more anti-social or alone, they just have a new ways to contact with others. It is possible if you are not able to adapt to it, you will feel alone and sad, but it is not the technology fault, it is a problem with you adaptation skills. For example, I would not like to live without electricity or phone, but it is possible that in the past people who needed adapt to those things thought that innovation things were bad and were broken the society, but now are absolutely normal and necessary.

In nowadays is almost impossible to live without electricity, I am sure that in the future will be impossible to live without our new developments. I think, it is better to adapt to their and enjoy it, that stay flight with them.

Adapt but not accustoms

The phrase of this part of my life is: adapt but not accustoms.

This have been very difficult time for me, my life had changed in a way that I didn't want, but I think it was because I needed to take different kind of decision for my life, and the conclusion was I need to go to live to NZ.

If my life had continuing in the way it was, maybe I could not take it important decision. Then this terrible time will have a great rewards, still now, I am here, in the murder capital and with the life very complicate...

Sometimes, I see my dream so long to me, but in other moments I can feel it as close up as is possible, because it is just time's stuff.

Today I can understand when people speak English, in class, in the podcast and a little more in the TV. When I am watching TV, my listening is not perfect, but in class,  I can understand everything still if I didn't know the word. In the podcast is the same as class.

It is a very important successful for me. During this time, in some moments I have felt that I won't learn English never ever... But I am improving a lot. And I feel absolutely happy about it.

Improve my English have been the most important goal in this time, because is the only thing I don't have to ask for my register in the board of psychologist NZ.

I would like to find a way to go quickly and easy without big effort, and if it happen, I will be very happy, but anyway, the history of my live have been working hard I have achieved whatever I have wanted.

I know, it is possible now will be the same...

Anyway, today, I am adapted but never ever accustoms of my actual situation, and I have could learn English step by step and now, I can understand when I listening to other people, I can read, write and so so speak... Well, I can speak enough well to other understand me, but with a lot of grammar mistakes.

Day after day, I am nearer to my dream, because I am studying and learning, with effort and constancy.

Frequently, people cannot understand the reason of theirs difficult situations, until it has happened. Now I can understand the reason of my difficult life moment... It is possible because the worst things happened, or at least are near to finish... I hope it.

November 30, 2011

Today after two months and 17 classes I closed with the Ruge English course. It had a good and nutritive time. I learned a lot English's things and was great to know my teacher.

During this time I have felt that I learn quick and at other moment I have felt I am stupid person and I won't learn English never ever.

Anyway I have improved and I think I am writing better, and I have less grammatical mistake when I am talking. I guess it will affect my general English level.

On the other hand, I have improved my fluency and now, I don't feel embarrassed to speak in English. Yet I know, I am not talking good, I am always ready to speak anyway. My listening has improved a lot, and I have had conversation in English with my teacher.

It has been a good time for my English and I am happy about it.

My teacher has force of me to abandon the American accent and now I am trying to speak more clear and to pronounce better letter like: t, s, thr.

I have three English classes in the British Council, it is absolutely different place, but I am very happy too.

I think I need people that want speak English with me, and in this way I will improve quickly.

I believe could be easy to find it in the British Council with my partner, because there people are very engagement with their English learning and they do an effort to improve, in my opinion it is one of the biggest different from British Council and Ruge.

Well, in the British I don’t have personal attention.

Now my goal is learn quickly and to try to jump some British Council levels, for this reason I am studying with the books.

Thinking and talikng about some NZ's news

Today I have been reading NZ's news as usually, and I found 3 special news took my attention:

1 the primer minister ate pizza in his house (they don't have problems and it is very important)

 http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10769168

 2 a guy in NZ took the first photo of a new solar system

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10769324

3 cats can play with the iPad, and they like it, exist people who think is a very good activity for cats without garden.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10768937

On the other hand, here is more than a wonderful goal buy milk or meal. I am living in a place where you are always in risk, always someone could attack you, here is very difficult to find necessary things to live. 

When I was reading the first news, I thought: there, they don't have real problems and for this reason is very important that the primer minister ate pizza of pizza hot. 

While I found the news about the photo of another solar system, I thougt: sure, when you are relax and quiet, you could be more creative and use your skills in very wonderful ways.

Finally, when I read the news about cats playing with iPads, I thought: in some place, people can to buy iPads for their cats...

In summary, I am thinking about the difference between the side of the world that I am and born, and the other where I want to be and live the rest of my life.

I talking about I want to be the blessed people that their biggest problems or worries are if they want to go to the beach today or not; maybe I would like to be the kind of people who are worried about important thinks but not urgents... People who are sure that if they do some things, they will be good... Now I am the kind of people who is working day after day trying to solvent the most basic things to live and frequently without success...

I want to be the kind of people who can to think and use their skill in something important, not just in something necessary.

Not much more to say.

My English Teacher

Today I want to talk about my English teacher.

First I want to say thank you to him! During these 6 weeks studying with his helps I have improved more quickly than in a year studying alone. This time has been very productive and funny!

He is a very weird man, but not bad, just funny and happy, he is like a free butterfly, but when you talk with him, you discover a smart and sensible person able to talk about anything and understand different kind of see the world.

He is respectful of others, still if he is thinking you are a very stupid person.

His cat is named "chuchito" because is a tropical cat; but still, he is not able yet to say "chuchito" correctly. It is very striking for me, because he is a British man, he is able to speak Spanish with difficult (but he is able to understand all people) and he is able to understand the problem of this country and he is not in agree of a lot of things here; but anyway, his cat is named "chuchito" also he cannot say it correctly.

He is a persona able to enjoy littler things in the life meanwhile his is doing necessary things to live as better as is possible.

He looks like a man in his 20s, but he is almost 40... I think because if you are relaxed and happy you look like that.

He goes to Guarico all Sunday, I cannot understand the reason, maybe he could say me: because it is the paradise. I cannot understand yet, but I am able to respect each kind of madness, in special because he is absolutely respectful with my madness.

He loves chicha, maybe it is the easiest thing to understand when I think about him. All people should love chicha!

Thank you my dear teacher to teach me English and to give me the opportunity to know a wonderful people like you!

It is all today.

Just some words

Today I have more than 4000 visits in my blog, during around 10 months. I am so happy about it. On the other hand, just today I received the first comment insulting me here.

It is great, because during this time I have been studying English with myself and just this last month I have had a teacher; now my English is not very good yet, but I have improved a lot and people around the world read me, understand me and insult me. It mean, people can understand me although my English is intermediate still.

During this time, I have written about a lot of things here, and people in more than 50 countries have been with me.

I want to explain that I don't want to insult none or be disrespectful with nothing; I am just a person who want to have better lifestyle and who is in love with a country far away for me still. Nevertheless, I am a reflective people, and now I am not working, I am just studying English and thinking about thing around me and others far away of me but important anyway.

In my opinion, opinions are not a attack if others can understand well.

I did not decided the place to birth, but anyway I born he, and I have lived here during 29 years, and definitely I love this place. But still, I don't like it, I don't want to be he; and now I can choose, and I want to be a kiwi; I don't know wether it is good or bad, but it is exactly what I want.

I hope in some time this life experience will be far away of me and will be just a memory, and in this moment probably I will miss the country where I born. But now it is not that moment, today I am he, I don't want to be here and when I see around me, I just find more reasons to go far away. Now it is my reality.

Finally, I want to say thanks to accompany me during this time and in this important experience of my life!